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Author Topic: Blurting  (Read 8176 times)
RAT900
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« on: May 14, 2010, 10:25:18 PM »

Main Entry: blurt
Pronunciation: \ˈblərt\
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: probably imitative
Date: 1573
: to utter abruptly and impulsively —usually used with out





Was thinking about this potentially deadly ailment.

A whole class of human affliction that has yet to be accorded its proper place in the Medical Journals and in the consciousness of the Socially Aware.

I believe Blurtism is a continuum ailment. At one end of the spectrum there is the example of the drunkard or parochial school student telling the Nun "Nice tits!!!" Which results in a Ninja-fast backhand slap across the face with Ring of St Joseph turned outward for brass-knuckle effect.

At the other extreme of the spectrum we may yet find a link to Tourette's Syndrome where-in the hapless sufferer may interrupt a moment of silence beside a burial plot at the interment of a young bride who died accidentally on her honeymoon, by screaming repeatedly a mantra of "make the beast with two backs Shit Piss Cock-sucker Cock-sucker"

There is no pity or compassion for the Blurtistic, only ugly reaction

drinks are hurled in their faces, the aforementioned example of slaps are a common occurrence and at the other extreme, fatal consequences may be suffered at the hands of the ignorant who arrange the impromptu live-burial of an otherwise healthy sufferer.

The time has come to put Blurtism on the medical map.  

It needs a symbol, a ribbon of some sort...perhaps in the form of a kidnapper's mouth gag...symbolizing the silence imposed about the condition and on those who suffer the condition.

Marches could be organized with placards saying "We're Walking the Talk for the Cure!!" or "Taking the Hurt out of Blurt"

Ribbon/Mouth Gag Pins for the lapel can be fabricated...adhesive stickers for the car as well

then when a Blurtistic person asks a young lady at a social gathering if her "Tits are real" or inquires if she is "Wearing a thong or going commando" or feels compelled to compliment her on a prominent Camel-toe...the initially offended party will see the lapel pin and understand that a different reaction to the question or observation is warranted and the question/compliment should be responded to with candor and compassion

I would think that as the medical community delves further into this disease formal training and certification of Licensed Blurticians can be instituted to counsel the afflicted. And then the entire catalogue of Blurtigical Disorders may finally be defined and treatments can be effected.

Web sites for the afflicted can be established where Blurtistics can write daily Blurgs and Blurging will help form a sense of community and unity

And then, perhaps someday in the future.....No longer will people be stricken by that voice in their head (the one that sounds like Lenny Bruce or Andrew Dice Clay) that swoops in out of nowhere to momentarily seize the vocal chords to do its damage!!

Anyway that's what I think...and I will start with this one seminal statement blurted-out devoid of shame "I am RAT900 and I am Blurtistic"


« Last Edit: May 15, 2010, 03:34:45 AM by RAT900 » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2010, 12:27:07 AM »

 applause applause applause


U shor du hav a way wit dem thar wurds!
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« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2010, 03:10:47 AM »

boobies!
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« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2010, 03:12:02 AM »



Web sites for the afflicted can be established where Blurtistics can write daily Blurgs and Blurging will help form a sense of community and unity

 


it's the NMC section here.   And for those who are more severely effected, it's CDC.    Grin

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« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2010, 11:44:06 AM »

I wonder if you realise the severity of the disease and its contagiousness

I can see it now

man with blurtism calls 911 for help

fire truck gets there

medic asks what the problem is

man says

"I have Blurtism"

Lt rolls his eyes and tosses the clipboard back into the kit

The A/O exclaims

"Oh jesus make the beast with two backsing christ, are you make the beast with two backsing me? we got out of bed at 3:30am because you can't keep your make the beast with two backsing mouth shut?"

"make the beast with two backs you asshole"


and thus the disease passes on
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« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2010, 11:50:51 AM »

Main Entry: blurt
Pronunciation: \ˈblərt\
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: probably imitative
Date: 1573
: to utter abruptly and impulsively —usually used with out






I'm more than a little curious about what transpired to cause this little tid-bit to be created.
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« Reply #6 on: May 15, 2010, 11:54:33 AM »

Rat probably has the taste of left foot in his mouth im guessing

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« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2010, 11:57:13 AM »

Me too, but I'd like to hear just how eloquent he was putting it in there.   Grin
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« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2010, 12:52:27 PM »

Guys it was bad...I would have made Archie Bunker cringe...here was the play

Daughter was up from NC with husband and my grandson who is 6 months old.  

I had a really long and bad day stuck in a car in endless traffic with my moron brother for 6 hours reciting episodes of The Wire which I have no interest in...

I dropped him off to his fat nasty wife and came home

to a house overflowing with son and daughters son in law and squalling grandson and a basement washtub overflowing with raw sewage into the wall-to-wall my wife insisted on putting down there

....overflowing because the step-daughters are still flushing their make the beast with two backsing tampons down the toilet and everything backed up

so I am in a house full of Midol candidates and an indoor swimming pool of sewage below after being trapped in a car with moron brother who has nothing intelligent to say about his crappy life so he bores you by filling the air with "home movie" level dialogue

Daughter is wearing a loose oversized t-shirt and pj pants with her frigging feedbags flopping around at her ankles...

she is all about maternity, breast-feeding motherhood and the birth experience and all the stuff that women love to immerse themselves in

I look at her and say good god honey don't they make foundation garments to support those things...you are going to trample and trip over them

I thought they were going to collectively drag me out into the yard for ritual castration

I am still apologizing for what apparently was an epic sized record-breaker in abject male insensivity

So there it is

Anyway everyone else on earth who gets busted drinking, drugging, make the beast with two backsing and gambling or some combination of the aforementioned gets to say they have a disease and they are getting treatment or going to a 12 Step Group or Rehab to deal with it...so I got to thinking I need blurting to be elevated accordingly
« Last Edit: May 15, 2010, 01:03:14 PM by RAT900 » Logged

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« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2010, 01:49:28 PM »

ohhhhh that's BAD!    laughingdp

My ailment is not unlike blurt.  Too often the filter between my brain and my mouth malfunctions. I understand. 

I hope you still have all your pieces parts, the sewage issue is resolved and you're all enjoying a Rockwell family dinner this evening.

 Wink    chug
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« Reply #10 on: May 15, 2010, 02:04:46 PM »

While I can sympathize, I think the real problem was a lack of supporting testosterone from whatever males were present, overload on estrogen from the females present, and the systematic feminizing of our society to the point where every scenario imaginable needs to be a 'nurturing environment'.    Grin  I've got your back, if only symbolically, and too late. 

This reminds me of a story, about a girl I saw for a while.  She, in public, asked a mutual friend when she was due about 6 weeks post-partum.  Even I know better than that. 
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« Reply #11 on: May 15, 2010, 02:49:20 PM »

You guys crack me the make the beast with two backs up.
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« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2010, 03:45:53 PM »

 applause  I'm proud you spoke your mind.  Sometimes folks need a little "reality" in their life
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« Reply #13 on: May 15, 2010, 05:17:13 PM »

Stress relief.

Dolph     Smiley
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« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2010, 09:37:52 PM »

Yeah it was a pressure-relief valve popping

But just as Stella described it ...

my son pulled me aside later and said,, "Dad your mind-to-mouth filters have always been pretty sketchy but you just knocked one out of the park"

oh well 
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